Saturday, January 05, 2008

My New Year's Resolution and a Vacation Goal

01/05/2008

Let’s get the Resolution out of the way right away…I will lose twenty-five pounds.  There I’ve said it!!!  It’s now cast in stone and I cannot back out of it until later today when the hunger pangs reach near critical.  Actually, now that I am in this for the third day, I am committed.  This past Wednesday morning at 7AM The Nancy and I mounted the scale, but not at the same time, to see just how badly we have abused formerly trim bodies.  On my turn the scale creaked and moaned and it looked as if the indicator wheel went around a couple of times before it settled on 240.  Just to give you an idea of how much The Nancy has caused me to gain, I weighed about 190 when we first began to see one another.  So, with that said I have set a minimum goal of 215 and a super, ultimate goal of 205.  The 205 is what one of my former doctors suggested was a healthy weight for me; 205 being ten pounds over what I weighed when I got out of Air Force Basic Training in November of 1963 and was supposedly in the best physical condition I could be.  I’ll keep you posted on my success, but know at this very moment I am extremely hungry.  Also know I ate my lunch about an hour ago and am sitting here wondering what’s so wrong with being fat.

The Goal: I have been off since December 22nd.  Monday I GET to go back to work.  Finally with this time off I have begun to finish some of the list of home projects I wrote down about a year or more ago.  I began with painting the basement walls and floors.  Both had been painted in the past and really needed attention.  I started this painting project on Home To Do list last winter, but being the quintessential procrastinator that I am, I was able to quit a quarter of the way and felt no guilt about quitting.  Well, it finally got to me and I knew I had to git-er-done, so I purposefully took the past two weeks off with that one goal in mind, paint the damn basement.  The basement of this house is about 3000 square feet, in case you are wondering why it took two weeks, and throw into the mix that I am an incredibly inept painter.  I get more on me than on the walls.  Right now the project is about 98% complete, so I think I can safely say it will be completed in 2008.  I do know I need to get back to work so I can get some rest.  By the way, I hate to paint.

There are a number of projects on my Home To Do list I want to complete before I lose all my hair or become incapacitated.  At my present rate of accomplishment I may have it completed by 2034.  Wish me luck?

And that is all I have to say about that…

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy 1st Day of 2008

01/01/2008

Just a short note to let you all know I am still here and happy as hell.  I have been on vacation since December 22nd and attacking my “Around-the-House-To-Do” list.  Look for my next post early next week.  Thanks for tuning in…

And that is all I have to say about that…

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Comment and Trackbacks to Hell-of-a-Guy

12/19/2007

Every once and a while I get a comment or two on something I have written.  Most of these are kind and supportive, but occasionally I get some that sneak through and are nothing more than spam mail.  I don’t have clue as to the origin of these “comments’ and “solicitations” or even how the hell they ever got on Hell-of-a-Guy, but I do need to clear the air with some of these and also to beg the senders to please stop sending them.

Firstly and without any thought of self-aggrandizement, also once and forevermore, I, being the Hell-of-a-Guy that I am, do not wish for and have never wanted nor desired a larger penis, but thank you for thinking of me.  God blessed me quite adequately for the intended purpose of this feature of my physicality. 

Secondly, though this is probably going to strike down any chance I have a being a geriatric porn star; I do not desire to have sex with anyone soliciting same over the internet.  I like to do my lusting up close and in the company of the lustee.  That is to say, except when The Nancy can see me.  It’s kind of unseemly.  Please, no more “free” sex even if the shipping and handling is free.

For you stockbrokers and financial types, I have no money.  My plea for my readers to send me a dollar each time they logged on to this website failed miserably.  I got a buck…one lousy buck!  So, there is little need for you to tell me about great stock deals, investment opportunities or other get-rich-quick schemes.  However, you may want to contact my wife or ex-wife.  They have lots of money.

I do not need any real estate in Arizona; nor do I need erectile dysfunction remedies (thanks, but I have what I need), cheap Canadian medications or any other “deals” sent to me over the internet, and I certainly am not going claim my winnings in the Nigerian Sweepstakes.

My mother made me promise not to say anything at all if I couldn’t say something nice.  I promised, but I don’t always live up to it.  With that said, don’t send me any of this shit again.  I don’t open it.  Well, unless it is really sleazy.

Thank you for your support, your readership and even your comments – provided they are meaningful, pithy and short. 

And that is all I have to say about that…

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Winter Storms, Nor'easters and a Chance to Relax

12/16/2007

This Sunday morning finds me cocooned in a crystal palace with every tree limb and blade of grass I can see from our family room windows adorned with a thin layer of ice.  The storm we were supposed to have gotten has come and gone, and luckily for we farm folk it was not nearly what it was forecasted to be, and the effects not nearly as harsh.  The temperature is climbing steadily out of the low thirties and what little ice formed on the trees is beginning to melt away.  Still, it is a pretty sight to behold.  There is even a little sunshine and blue sky appearing every once in a while through the clouds.  The sun adds another layer of spectacular to an already beautiful day.

The Nancy and I spent yesterday preparing for the worst.  She went into town to her office for a while and came home toting a bag full of work she could get done at home if she gets stuck in the house.  I got firewood and kindling stacked on the porch, and prepared the fireplace with wood and kindling ready to light at a moments notice.  I started my chainsaw (yes, dammit, I own a chainsaw) a got it squared away.  One never knows when a tree might come crashing down across our half-mile long driveway.  Our electric generator is at the ready, as well.  I started it up for the first time in a year and moved it into position near the electric line it hooks up to outside the house, having no idea how to hook it up or what it is supposed to run if the electricity fails.  We have a huge pot of chili, meatless of course, and a couple of soups ready to rock just I case we do get stranded here (oh how we would have hated that, imagine, stranded in paradise).  Weather be damned, we were prepared.

So here I am on this Sunday morning sitting in my favorite chair in my favorite room, with my favorite woman close by, gazing out over a garden of sparkling trees just loving this day and so thankful I get to live it.

And that is all I have to say about that…