Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Counting the Days...
02/17/2010
Quite a few people know I am now less than a year from retirement, and I know a lot of people who are already retired. Some of them encourage me to do it now. “Why wait,” they say. “Why not do it now?”
A little over a week ago we got nearly two and a half feet of snow dumped on us at The Farm. The Nancy and I were trapped. Had we begun to dig ourselves out, we might still be digging. I estimated there to be 5,866 cubic yards of snow on the half-mile of gravel driveway from the house to the road. There was no way in hell I was going to even move a shovel full of snow from the driveway. We were stuck. And, stuck we were for five days.
Five days with The Nancy is a blissful way to spend time; however, not when forced to do it. If she were here watching me write this I would say the same thing, and I bet you a bucket full of snow she would say the same thing. Since we were forewarned of the impending incarceration, The Nancy did bring home her laptop and was able to do some work. I relocated my office to the basement of our house back in July (whatever I was thinking at the time leaves me clueless), so working was not a problem since all my stuff was already there…except.
The “except” part is I didn’t want to do any work, though I did and I can tell you it took a great deal of focus on my part. What I wanted to do was light a fire in the fireplace, grab a book and a beer, and settle in a soft chair and read away until I fell asleep – generally about ten pages or so. I never got to do it. The reality of being stranded in your own home is that all you really want to do is get out of it.
Contemplate retirement: if you are not wealthy, or at least somewhat well off, retirement is nothing more than confinement. If retirement is so damn wonderful, why are retired people always looking for something to do? I have had friends tell me they are going to retire, but in the same breath tell me they will have to find “something” to do. What?
What the hell am I going to do if I retire as planned next February? My dreams of becoming a geriatric porn star may not materialize because of possible faulty, irreplaceable equipment. Plan “B,” the micro-brewery, takes a bunch of money and I do not have enough set aside to risk it. Plan “C,” I do not have one.
The gist of this is simply this, if retirement is so frigging great, why am I waffling on it? On the other hand, is it at all possible to speed up time to 2-9-2011? God, how I hate conundrums.
And that is all I have to say about that…
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine's Day
02/14/2010
I tend to be somewhat sentimental on Valentine’s Day…okay! Well, I tend to be a great deal sentimental and a little emotional, especially when it comes to The Nancy. Today there was a moment where this hit me right between the eyes.
One of the things The Nancy and I love to do on Sunday mornings is watch the TV show on CBS named, ironically enough, “Sunday Morning.” We like to watch it as we enjoy a late Sunday morning breakfast. The late breakfast because Sunday is The Nancy’s day to sleep in and I dare not attempt to awaken her before the appropriate time set before she goes to bed Saturday night. I received my instructions last night not to awaken her prior to 9am, and that is when I gently, lovingly awakened her this morning.
The theme for “Sunday Morning” was all things Valentine. One of the segments featured the critically acclaimed movie “Crazy Heart” starring Jeff Bridges. Something he said this morning caused me a huge emotional, somewhat tearful moment of joy. Bridges said something about his wife that got me to thinking romantically, and thinking of anything romantic, especially about The Nancy, gets to me.
Jeff Bridges and his wife have been married for thirty-three years. In this film he has to act out being in love with his female co-star. It was this thing he said about his on-screen relationship with the female character that hit me and got me all glassy-eyed. When he had to do a romantic scene all he had to do was think about how much he loved his wife and the scene would take care of itself. It sparked a thought.
As he spoke it crossed my mind of just how many women are on this planet that I love. I am not so sure there is enough memory in this laptop for me to name them all. If I counted them beginning with my mother and my daughters, my first wife who I have never stopped loving, and all of the fantastic women who play and have played a part in my life, I don’t think I could name them all. The list is just that long, but there is someone in my life who simply is my life, and that is The Nancy, my Nancy. I cannot help but love this woman. She is the all of the all to me. There are times when I look at her I am overwhelmed with her beauty and at a loss for words, tears immediately fill my eyes. When she catches me in that moment, she signals the love right back at me without saying a word. We just know, and that ain’t bad. This morning presented one of those moments and it was wonderful and made my day.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
And that is all I have to say about that…
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Snow Removal and the Power of Pray...
02/11/2010
I don’t think The Nancy and I fully realized the immensity of just how much snow had fallen over the past four days. It finally quit snowing about 4pm this afternoon, but as the snow quit a wicked wind kicked up blowing the white stuff every which way but back from whence it came.
Both The Nancy and I were secretly concerned with what we would do should we have had an emergency. Fortunately, the gods smiled upon us and we made it unscathed until our man Josh made it there with his tractor and snow blowing equipment.
He arrived about 9:30 and left just a few minutes ago. It is 1:30 Thursday morning. I have a sinking feeling this one is going to cost us about $500, but we both think it is the perfect price for the peace of mind it brings us.
Josh has been here to The Farm a few times. He cut the grass for us a few times over the past couple years when our mower was in the shop (another story for another time), so he had a basic idea of the path our half-mile long gravel drive…almost. Since the snow was two and a half feet deep all the way between us and where he entered the drive, there was no way for us to guide him. He did pretty well, though. At least we won’t see the damage he may have done until this crap melts, and looking at it, it could be weeks before we see mother earth again.
We drove the length of the drive and followed Josh back to the paved road. At least the newly craved path is wide enough for us to get our two Jeeps through. We are happy campers now.
Free at last, free at last! I have heard that somewhere before, I think?
And that is all I have to say about that…
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
It's My Birthday and My Party...
02/09/2010
Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday dear Hell of a Guy! Happy Birthday to me!
Today is for sure my birthday. I am 66 today, and will begin my third year as an official, sanctioned, senior citizen. It is an irrefutable fact I am old in every way, shape and form according to conventional wisdom, and it cannot be disputed…accept, I do not feel it in my heart.
Aging is controlled by attitude. I have aches and pains. I cannot touch my toes any longer without difficulty. I cannot throw a ball as far as I once did. My eyes won’t stay open much past 10pm. My bowels and some other parts don’t work as well as they used to, but my heart does just fine.
My heart tells me I am still a teenager; a young man in my twenties and thirties; a kid ready to take on the world; to be a man; to be a dad and a grandfather; to be a good husband and a great neighbor, and a guy who wants to make a difference in another’s life.
I have much work to do before I give up the ghost. Believe it or not, I have not told everyone I love just how much I love them. This is important work. If you are among the six billion I have not told, accept this as a fact: I love you!!!
I am happy to just “be.” Dam, if it ain’t the truth: This is going to be The Best Day Ever.
And that is all I have to say about that…