Hell of a Guy
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Comment and Trackbacks to Hell-of-a-Guy


Every once and a while I get a comment or two on something I have written.  Most of these are kind and supportive, but occasionally I get some that sneak through and are nothing more than spam mail.  I don’t have clue as to the origin of these “comments’ and “solicitations” or even how the hell they ever got on Hell-of-a-Guy, but I do need to clear the air with some of these and also to beg the senders to please stop sending them.

Firstly and without any thought of self-aggrandizement, also once and forevermore, I, being the Hell-of-a-Guy that I am, do not wish for and have never wanted nor desired a larger penis, but thank you for thinking of me.  God blessed me quite adequately for the intended purpose of this feature of my physicality. 

Secondly, though this is probably going to strike down any chance I have a being a geriatric porn star; I do not desire to have sex with anyone soliciting same over the internet.  I like to do my lusting up close and in the company of the lustee.  That is to say, except when The Nancy can see me.  It’s kind of unseemly.  Please, no more “free” sex even if the shipping and handling is free.

For you stockbrokers and financial types, I have no money.  My plea for my readers to send me a dollar each time they logged on to this website failed miserably.  I got a buck…one lousy buck!  So, there is little need for you to tell me about great stock deals, investment opportunities or other get-rich-quick schemes.  However, you may want to contact my wife or ex-wife.  They have lots of money.

I do not need any real estate in Arizona; nor do I need erectile dysfunction remedies (thanks, but I have what I need), cheap Canadian medications or any other “deals” sent to me over the internet, and I certainly am not going claim my winnings in the Nigerian Sweepstakes.

My mother made me promise not to say anything at all if I couldn’t say something nice.  I promised, but I don’t always live up to it.  With that said, don’t send me any of this shit again.  I don’t open it.  Well, unless it is really sleazy.

Thank you for your support, your readership and even your comments – provided they are meaningful, pithy and short. 

And that is all I have to say about that…

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Winter Storms, Nor’easters and a Chance to Relax


This Sunday morning finds me cocooned in a crystal palace with every tree limb and blade of grass I can see from our family room windows adorned with a thin layer of ice.  The storm we were supposed to have gotten has come and gone, and luckily for we farm folk it was not nearly what it was forecasted to be, and the effects not nearly as harsh.  The temperature is climbing steadily out of the low thirties and what little ice formed on the trees is beginning to melt away.  Still, it is a pretty sight to behold.  There is even a little sunshine and blue sky appearing every once in a while through the clouds.  The sun adds another layer of spectacular to an already beautiful day.

The Nancy and I spent yesterday preparing for the worst.  She went into town to her office for a while and came home toting a bag full of work she could get done at home if she gets stuck in the house.  I got firewood and kindling stacked on the porch, and prepared the fireplace with wood and kindling ready to light at a moments notice.  I started my chainsaw (yes, dammit, I own a chainsaw) a got it squared away.  One never knows when a tree might come crashing down across our half-mile long driveway.  Our electric generator is at the ready, as well.  I started it up for the first time in a year and moved it into position near the electric line it hooks up to outside the house, having no idea how to hook it up or what it is supposed to run if the electricity fails.  We have a huge pot of chili, meatless of course, and a couple of soups ready to rock just I case we do get stranded here (oh how we would have hated that, imagine, stranded in paradise).  Weather be damned, we were prepared.

So here I am on this Sunday morning sitting in my favorite chair in my favorite room, with my favorite woman close by, gazing out over a garden of sparkling trees just loving this day and so thankful I get to live it.

And that is all I have to say about that…

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Seasonal Decorations and Other Inappropriate Crap…


I rent a room in an old house for use as an office for those days when I actually spend a little time working at my real job.  There is an attorney downstairs who occupies the entire floor; we share an entrance.  At the front door is a small room the attorney uses as a waiting area.  Once in a great while, someone will even wait in it, while the attorney does other stuff and pretends to be extremely overwhelmed with the immensity of his caseload.  I think it’s a joke he likes to play on people.  He works about as hard as I do.

This past Thursday the attorney’s wife came over here to his office, and the wife and the attorney’s secretary drug Christmas, oops! excuse me, I meant to say, Holiday Decorations down to the first floor from somewhere up here on the second floor.  I could hear all the commotion and new something was going on from all of the huffing and puffing just outside my office door.  I was way too busy playing Spider Solitaire to be interested in offering assistance.  I didn’t want to get sweaty.

Friday morning when I arrived at my office to begin a day of new games, sometime between 7am and 10am – I need to judge the time because the clock in my office stopped working, so I am giving a range that I am sure will fit the actual time I arrived ready to start my busy day.  I walked through the front door of the building into a veritable wonderland of Christmas Cheer.  There are wreaths and garlands and Santas and elves and Christmas decorations of every kind…almost!  The secretary, when I told her how nice the place looked, sneered at me, and with a half smile on her face told me the decorations lacked the “Reason for the Season.”

I had to think on that one a while, and told her later that while I am not a religious sort, I am a spiritual one.  The reason for the season is to celebrate the birth of Jesus, after all who’s birthday is it.  Well, here’s my take on Holiday Decorations and the Reason for the Season.  Whether you are a devout Christian or of any other religion, I think you will have to admit that the Jesus portrayed in the Bible was the ultimate “Giver,” at least that is what I take away from the songs of the quartet, “Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.”  The Decorations of the Season we stole from the Pagans (not the motorcycle gang) when they melded into Christianity about the same time The Church decided December 25th was The Day.  Santa came later out of the imagination of Clement Moore from a poem he wrote in 1822 entitled, “A Visit from Saint Nicholas.” 

My mother always defined Santa Claus as the “Spirit of Christmas Giving.”  This is the Season of Giving, is it not?  The Ultimate Giver gave us the Season, and the Season gave us the symbol of Christmas Giving in the form of a little round man with a fluffy white beard in a red suit.  So if we decorate for the celebration of this birthday without a sign of anything religious, does it diminish in anyway what the Season is for?  Personally, I don’t think so.

I think this Jolly Old Elf needs to go buy some gifts now.  It is a time of giving.

And that is all I have to say about that…

Friday, December 07, 2007

The Wonderful World of “If” and Other Philosophical BS


I was having coffee this morning and enjoying the conversations of some of the people around me.  I just couldn’t help but overhear some of what they were saying.  One thing stood out, it was a lady who colorfully used the word “if” a lot.  “If” this and “if” that!

“What if” seems to be a phrase people tend to throw around, as well.  “If the sun comes up today everything will be alright.”  “If” often takes the place of “when.”  “When” my ship comes in…  “If” I get this raise?…  “When” da, da, da…  “If” da, da, da…  What the hell is going on with “if” and “when”???

I have to wonder what the hell people are waiting for.  “If” and “when” seem to me to be huge replacements for action, it’s a means of procrastination.  Committed action brings results, not procrastination.  If I wait for my ship to come in, my boat will probably have sunk.  “If” tomorrow never comes (isn’t this a song?), I will likely be deader than a doornail.  Tomorrow is coming and I can’t do a damn thing about it.  The question is what will I do with it when it arrives?

I have procrastination down pat.  Putting off shit is easily done for me.  I can use “if” and “when” as easily as the next guy, maybe even better.  I have a whole list of “ifs” and “whens” I need to accomplish before I can develop new “ifs” and whens.”  I need to get some of my “ifs” and “whens” off my list or people may think I am whining. 

The difference between me and the other “iffers” and “wheners” is simply that I am a professional.  That means I know what I am doing and I know the reason for doing it.  Amateur “iffers” and “wheners” do it because it draws attention to their inability to take responsibility for their circumstances.  You see, I know I am 100% responsible for what happens to me, and I accept the circumstances I have caused for myself.

So, when you read this, if you do it, when will you get it, if you get it at all?  Just don’t give me any “ifs” as comments.  Thank you for your support.

And that is all I have to say about that… 

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