Hell of a Guy
No legacy is so rich as honesty - William Shakespeare

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Pregnancy: How Cool is That…


I am in Louisville, Kentucky, actually across the river in Jeffersonville, Indiana, but who’s counting steps.  I sat at a bar tonight at the Buckhead, a Jeffersonville beer joint, drinking brews and wishing I were at home with The Nancy.  I happened to notice one of the servers was very pregnant, and to my utter surprise, I was jealous.  What the hell is up with that?  I am a sixty-four year-old man.  I was stunned!!!  All of this began me to think, and God knows I am known to do some crazy shit when I think.  Jealous, me jealous, just the thought of an un-Spock like emotion such as jealousy makes me nuts, but nonetheless, I was felt it.

Can you think of anything more God-like than to be a mother?  God is mother of the earth and of all things on it and around it forever and ever, amen!!  I am in awe of pregnant women and of just plain women, for that matter.  Just think of it, women are able to give life.  Sure, we guys play a part, but for women it is so different, they grow life, we (guys) merely contribute to process it in a moment of lust.  It is our true purpose for being here, to procreate.  It is our only job.

I get tears in my eyes thinking what it must be like to have a life growing inside of one’s body and then one day getting to experience the ultimate beauty of giving birth.  Does this make me a pussy – so to speak?  I don’t think it does.  Having read “Conversations with God,” one day even I may get to experience it, or perhaps I already have.  Read the book and you will understand.

The Nancy says I am not your typical man.  I think I am.  Perhaps I just am a little more vulnerable than others, but I know I would like to experience the beauty of carrying a child and bringing in to this world.  I suppose a little of this vulnerability comes with the four beers I had while I watched the pregnant server at Buckhead’s, but whether this is true or not, I am still in awe of the process.

And that is all I have to say about that…


Saturday, July 19, 2008

Life as Music - Note by Note


Not long ago I was enjoying listening to the New Age Music on Sirius channel 173 as I motored on down the road.  I think I like it best because there are no words or lyrics for me to attempt to listen to as I drive.  Perhaps this is a reflection of my inability to do two things at once?  The Nancy calls 173 the Elevator Music channel, and I get the distinct feeling she does not appreciate my choice, but since it is my car I get to choose what plays and when (Does that make me a control freak?).  I don’t recall what the piece was but I do especially remember it was moving – you know, as in evoking emotion.  I got to thinking about how brilliant someone has to be to put together a series of notes, basically unrelated sounds, and bring them together to form something that is both beautiful and flowing – a piece of music that moves the soul and even that music which I consider to be crap.

I remember seeing the motion picture “Amadeus” back in 1984, and in awe of Mozart and his ability to seemingly hear the music he was composing in his mind even before he wrote it down.  Composing a symphony is not just putting a bunch of notes to paper, but also requires the composer to imagine how all the instruments in the orchestra will interact and compliment one another to accomplish what the composer has imagined for them.  Is this not amazing?

So I pondered that one for a short while, and then began to see that life is like a musical composition.  You heard this before: “Life is not about the destination but the journey.”  As with music, our lives are a series of notes, notable events and passings, each playing at a particular moment, and each of us gets to compose our own.  If life were just one “note,” it would be awfully short.  In life, there are sweet notes, sour notes and off-key notes.  There short notes and long notes, and God knows we all have some flats and sharps.  But put them all together, and look at what can result?  I am the composer of my life.  It is a symphonic masterpiece, and so far it has had a pretty sweet sound. 

Excuse me, please, I have to go.  I am up early this morning I seem to have misplaced my baton, and I need to find it to begin my day.

And that is all I have to say about that…   

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Me and My Lawn Mower…


A little over a year ago I purchased a toy for me, a new zero-turn lawnmower, The Tank by Cub Cadet.  The Tank cost me a little over $7500 but worth every penny.  It’s a dream to cut grass with it, even though it still takes me about four-plus hours to mow what I have chosen to mow.  While The Nancy and I own only three and a half acres, I mow about seven.  And I do have my reasons, none of which many of you may appreciate.  This mower and I have had our moments.  I told someone this morning that God has a new Commandment: That shalt not allow that Hell-of-a-Guy to get anywhere close to any mechanized apparatus.

In the year or so I have owned this piece of equipment I have had some mishaps with it.  Come to think of it, I believe I can list quite a number of mishaps.

I have driven it into the lake, by accident, and had to tow it out.  I managed to break the drive belt, the one that turns the blades, and had to have it replaced for $115.00.  Not long after that I ran over a nail and flattened one of the front tires – not a big deal on a small mower, but this one must weigh 700-800 lbs, so one doesn’t just pick it up and take it somewhere in the trunk of the family ride for repairs.  I think that mishap was a cheap one at around $20 to fix.  Next I got the mower hung up in a rain-softened low spot and again got my tow rope out.  Not long after that I hit a tree root with the side of one of the back tires and tore out the side of it.  Cost of that little error in aim was a nifty $80.00 and a new tire.  Jacking up the mower to take the wheel off was no joy, either.  Next mishap involved a slope, some rain, and a very bad angle for this boy to maneuver.  I didn’t, and had to get out the tow rope once again and nearly burnt up the clutch on the Wrangler The Nancy and I have as a fun vehicle.  Can you see the reason for the new Commandment yet?

Here is the newest.  Sunday I was out on The Tank minding my own business.  I had on all my clothing, my ear plugs and my safety glasses, and my trusty hat for protection so the sun wouldn’t burn my ever-growing forehead.  Clippings were being thrown out of the shoot just as they should at a furious rate.  The areas that I cut are for the most part former pasture land, so you might guess they are not as smooth as most lawns.  This is certainly true of the area where I was mowing.  Suddenly the ride got a little rougher than usual, and my first thought was “Don’t tell me I blew another tire?”  Well, not exactly.

What I did was – you do remember the blown rear tire from above, right? – looked at the left-side rear wheel to see if it was flat.  It was not; however, it seemed to be wobbly.  I stopped the mower to take a closer look.  I had a mess.  I had lost one of the lug nuts, and the other three were in various positions other than where they should have been.  The openings in the wheel itself, formerly about a half inch in diameter, are now at least an inch in diameter or larger.  The wheel is shot.  The studs where the lug nuts go are stripped of their threads.  All of this is the result of the shoddy workmanship of the idiot who put the wheel back on the mower after the tire was repaired.  That idiot is me.  I tried to blame this on The Nancy, and I tried to blame it on the fact that one of her cousins spent the night with us this past Saturday and caused me to get a later start on my mowing Sunday morning than I wanted, but I truly know where the fault lay.  I am fully responsible for what happens to me in my life, dammit!

Monday morning I went to the Cub Cadet dealership where I bought the mower.  I bent my head down and looked at the floor as I told the owner my newest mower mishap tale.  I did not want to see him smile as he no doubt stifled a belly laugh.  As I looked up I could see him begin to flip pages in a book that contained a listing of all the parts for this particular mower.  He began to write down those parts needed to fix my problem.  He took a deep breath and these words exited his mouth.  “Ain’t gonna be cheap.”  I hadn’t expected it to be, but I wasn’t quite ready for part two.  He said the parts to repair what I did will run about $777.00 plus labor.  Oh, happy days!!!  What a terrific way to begin the week!

The Nancy always tells me that we live in abundance.  Whatever we need always seems to be there at the time we need it to be.  Well, I am looking for the Abundance Fairy to make an appearance one more time.  That is, one more time this time.

And that is all I have to say about that…