Hell of a Guy
You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life - Albert Camus

Saturday, January 03, 2009

So Long Holidays…


The Season is officially over.  The gifts are opened and quite a few already in pieces or missing same.  We don’t have to listen to the debate on “Merry Christmas” versus “Happy Holidays” again until December 2009.  The Christmas tree or perhaps we should call it the Holiday tree to be more politically correct, will come down tomorrow, since we are not home today, and put away in storage for another eleven months.  The Christmas cards received will go in the trash…sorry!  The poinsettias that have adorned our dining room table will go with the cards, and whatever Holiday cookies, cakes and candies we have leftover will go with The Nancy to her office for final disposition, aka consumption (those people will eat anything).  Taking that stuff to The Nancy’s office keeps us from tossing out perfectly good confections, but will allow others the weight gain from them and not us.  By tomorrow afternoon the house will be relegated to its normal drabness, totally devoid of the Holiday Festiveness of the past several weeks.  It is just the way it works. 

Now it is time to resolve to do something in 2009, and then not do it as I have not done in years past.  So, with that said, here is a list of the things I resolve not to do.

1. Start new projects at home without sufficient monies to complete them and maybe complete some of the projects I have already started.
2. Stay focused at work, and not allow my mind to wander from the task at hand – I will disable Spider Solitaire.
3. Regain the thirty-plus pounds I lost in 2008.
4. I resolve to always answer the question, “Does this make me look fat?”
5. Pluck The Nancy’s chin or massage her feet when she hints at it.
6. Give anyone the finger ever again.
7. And my last non-resolution – Never drop an inappropriate or mistimed “f-bomb” again.

These are my 2009 Non-Resolutions and I should definitely not have any problem not keeping them.  Isn’t this so much easier than vowing to do a lot of things you know in your heart you won’t do?  Why set yourself up for failure?  Merely own up to the fact Resolutions are a bunch a crap, and don’t even go there. 

I heard Will Smith in an interview a couple of days ago.  When asked what Resolutions he would make for 2009, he promptly said, “None.”  He went on to say something is worth doing why wait for a New Year to do it.  I liked that, and will adopt that for my own use.  The again, I may never do that, either.  It’s just the way it is. 

And that is all I have to say about that…

Thursday, January 01, 2009

New Year’s Eve - December 31, 2008


The Nancy and I are at home struggling to remain awake…it is 11:29.  I have been sitting in my favorite chair hoping the time will pass quickly so I can get the Old Year out and the New Year in, and go to bed at approximately 12:05, January 1, 2009.  I don’t really give a healthy crap about the event.  I am merely doing this to gain points with The Nancy.  She loves this stuff.  I could take it, but would rather like to leave it.  I think of this as no matter what I do, tomorrow will still be the first day of the New Year.

It is now 11:33:  The time is dragging, and this is what I do not understand.  Where the hell did 2008 go?  Just a couple of days ago I sat in this chair hoping 2007 would go away so I could go to bed.  Once this day is over, I will go to bed and wake up to find trees full of leaves and a calendar showing six months have flown by.

I read that time is an invention of mankind.  Time is actually vertical, not horizontal.  There is no past and there is no future, there just is.  Everything that has happened, or will happen, is actually happening at this exact moment.  It just depends in what dimension you are in.  Actually, it only matters what dimension I am in, because none of you exist, except as I create you.  Scientists refer to this as Quantum Mechanics or some bullshit like that.  I like to think of it as okay, since I am really not a deep thinker.

It is 11:44:  I think I have managed to bullshit myself awake, once again.  Mayor Bloomberg is on the TV.  We are listening to, more than watching, the Times Square New Year’s Eve celebration.  It is 11:46: There is some goofy woman on the TV attempting to sing something but I cannot understand what the hell she is saying.  People standing near the stage are dancing or just shivering from the cold that looks as if they are dancing.  It is 11:49: One of my eyes is closed and I think my left side is asleep.  Please, God, allow me to make it for another ten minutes.  Thanks, God, that woman is done with her valiant attempt at whatever she was attempting to do - I would not call it singing.  It is 11:51.

Sorry, I had to pee.  It is 11:55:  The countdown has begun. 

2008 has been a great year for me.  I have made it so.  This is my creation and I have loved it.  The economic issues confronting some have not touched The Nancy and me…yet.  My life is perfect and my world is as well.  I am a lucky guy and I so know it.

Just two minutes to go.  I need to wet my lips and get ready to lay one on my bride welcoming in the New Year.  So, with that I wish all of you the absolute best the New Year has to offer you and yours.

Happy New Year!!!

And that is all I have to say about that…

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