Hell of a Guy
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

Saturday, March 27, 2010

It’s a Starbuck’s Morning…


Bridgeport, WV, Starbucks, 7:30 Saturday morning, and it is a great day to be me.  Wish you were here. 

It is a crisp, cold, cloudless March morning.  My coffee is about gone, as is the blueberry scone I just had to have because I saw it languishing in a cage with a bunch of lonely pastries longing to be held.  Yum!  In a few minutes I will pack up my stuff and go back to Jackie’s and attempt to arouse, so to speak, The Nancy from a deep slumber, which in itself is a major undertaking.

I spoke with my eldest daughter for about thirty minutes this morning, and it is the longest conversation we have had in a month.  She is undergoing a transformation, a catharsis, an attempt to finally defeat the demon that has controlled her life for more than a decade.  She is filled with emotion and is clear headed, and it is evident in her speech and in her words.

She believes God has intervened and taken control of her life.  She sees events now as signs, as markers, of what has been and what ought to be.  She has finally accepted there are no accidents in this life, and the universe is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be in a life she designed before she began it.  She is discovering she is not her past and that she is in complete control of her future.  She is defining who she truly is, as only she can do. For her this is The Best Day Ever.

And that is all I have to say about that…

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Thought-Provoking Statements


1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the Person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’ll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

33. I am not sure who wrote this or where it came from, but I liked it and want to share it with you.

And that is all I have to say about that…

Friday, March 12, 2010

A Passion to Write…


Yep!  I have a passion to write; however, it is the skill I lack, not the desire.  The desire goes way back, close to twenty-five years, maybe longer.  There are two binders on my desk each containing a couple of chapters of gobbledygook, two great American though uncompleted novels.

“The Letter” was begun in 1990.  It is the story about a letter written to a relative from prison with some incriminating evidence on another inmate.  The thrill part is what happens to the writer as the incriminated inmate attempts to recover the letter.  I thought it was a great idea then, and perhaps it is, still.  I just lost interest in the project, but cannot remember why.

“Charleston City Lights” got started in 1992 at the height of my mid-life crisis.  It is the story of a fallen “man of the cloth” and his lover.  It is not without a hint of truth, and was begun at a very low point in my own personal esteem.  Luckily, I popped out of it, but only after months of a personal, self-inflicted hell.  The story, has a beautiful, albeit twisting ending, or would if it ever gets completed.  I can hear my friend Dale’s incredulity as he reads this defeatist, self-degrading bullshit that I now wish I had not started.  His wrath is forthcoming, I can feel it.

I was not a good student when I did go to school.  My underachiever mentality ruled over good sense, in fact, it completely ruled my life until 1983 (when I was 39).  I was a college dropout over and over.  My high school average was barely above the passing grade.  My motto was to never do more than it took to get by.  As a youth, it is probably the only goal in which I succeeded beyond my own expectation.  I was the quintessential procrastinator.  I never learned how to study and I never tried to learn, so I didn’t.  Not long ago I let my granddaughter know I did not go to college.  She asked me how I got to be so smart.  “Bullshit” did not seem like the proper way to answer her, but it is the truth.  I no longer lie, but, man, can I bullshit.  I should be President or Speaker of the House.

Okay!  After that bout of self-denigration and exposing myself, as it were, I feel a lot better, but not enough to finish the novels.  Maybe I will get around to it in a few more years?

And that is all I have to say about that…

Tuesday, March 09, 2010



Quite a few of the posts to this website I have made have been written in airports as I wait to board an airplane or are on an airplane.  It kind of makes me feel as though this is a second home, a place to visit when I need to get out of town.  Thus is the life of a “traveling salesman” and I am not so sure I enjoy it as much as I used to enjoy it.  But then, there are a lot of things I do not enjoy as I used to.  It seems these days my job gets in the way of my personal life more and more each day.

So much for bitching, but there is one thing I totally enjoy about airports – the people.  I love watching people in airports, especially kids and good looking women, but not necessarily in that order.

Kids are a riot.  Sometimes it is hard to get them to warm up.  I find if I catch their eye and look away quickly and then slowly turn my head back to them, they will eventually melt and play the flirting game with me.  I love to watch them smile and get giddy when they laugh.  Most children’s faces light up from ear-to-ear when they smile.  This game doesn’t quite work the same with good-looking woman, but I like to play it anyway.  I love it when they smile, and get more than giddy when they laugh with me and not at me.  The former happens often, the latter only in my dreams.

So pardon me, if you will?  My plane is boarding shortly and I don’t want to miss out on a luxurious ride on a full airplane where I am forced to sit next to someone who smells like a smokestack or a bar stool.  Cynical?  Not!!!  Just having fun on this The Best Day Ever.

And that is all I have to say about that…

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