Hell of a Guy

Journaling and Nostalgia…

04/28/2016

A funny thing happened on the way to journaling, or as a result, thereof!

Recently as The Nancy and I were slated to travel to Louisiana, I decided to stick a notebook where I began to keep a journal January 1, 1993 in my bag. As expected, it made for some interesting reading, and as I started to read some of what I wrote 23 years ago, I was instantly transported back in time. Wow! What a ride that was.

As I read the words I put to paper back in those tumultuous days, I laughed a lot and cried a little and came to the realization I was at the time totally, though unapologetically, fucked up. These thoughts I had written two decades ago was who I was at the time, they defined me to a perfect “T” (whatever a perfect “T” is I have no idea, but I was it). I was 49 and oh so very much in the midst of a severe mid-life crisis. Basically, I was lost in trying to find myself, to find what I had defined in my own mind as happiness. Well, I found it, but it took some ugly twists and turns and the road to it was very long and very bumpy. I hurt some people and made some others happy. I cannot, nor would I care to, go back and change a single thing. It is history, my history.

This journal that began with some jotted notes in lined notebook, now has over 800 (single-sided) pages. I don’t write as much in it or as often as I used to write or should write. After my youngest daughter provided me with the blog site http://www.hell-of-a-guy.com about 10-years ago, much of what I wrote I posted there and also copied to my journal. The blog used to have a counter and registered every hit and was well over 500,000 when it hit a snag and stopped counting, so these days I have no idea if anyone other than me even looks at this stuff. Still, I feel the need to occasionally write some bullshit and post it here. And then a few years ago Facebook came along and I became a prolific Facebooker, and much of my bullshit is posted there for millions to see. With Facebook I get instant feedback from people I piss off and also from those agree or like my BS. I like that.

Journaling is both fun and therapeutic. It provides the writer with an avenue for one’s deepest thoughts, likes and dislikes. It is a place where bullshit can reside for a very long time…you see, bullshit does not decay, but over time it does lose some of its stink, especially when read 20 years later it is written.

And that is all I have to say about that…

 
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