Me and My Lawn Mower...

07/08/2008

A little over a year ago I purchased a toy for me, a new zero-turn lawnmower, The Tank by Cub Cadet.  The Tank cost me a little over $7500 but worth every penny.  It’s a dream to cut grass with it, even though it still takes me about four-plus hours to mow what I have chosen to mow.  While The Nancy and I own only three and a half acres, I mow about seven.  And I do have my reasons, none of which many of you may appreciate.  This mower and I have had our moments.  I told someone this morning that God has a new Commandment: That shalt not allow that Hell-of-a-Guy to get anywhere close to any mechanized apparatus.

In the year or so I have owned this piece of equipment I have had some mishaps with it.  Come to think of it, I believe I can list quite a number of mishaps.

I have driven it into the lake, by accident, and had to tow it out.  I managed to break the drive belt, the one that turns the blades, and had to have it replaced for $115.00.  Not long after that I ran over a nail and flattened one of the front tires – not a big deal on a small mower, but this one must weigh 700-800 lbs, so one doesn’t just pick it up and take it somewhere in the trunk of the family ride for repairs.  I think that mishap was a cheap one at around $20 to fix.  Next I got the mower hung up in a rain-softened low spot and again got my tow rope out.  Not long after that I hit a tree root with the side of one of the back tires and tore out the side of it.  Cost of that little error in aim was a nifty $80.00 and a new tire.  Jacking up the mower to take the wheel off was no joy, either.  Next mishap involved a slope, some rain, and a very bad angle for this boy to maneuver.  I didn’t, and had to get out the tow rope once again and nearly burnt up the clutch on the Wrangler The Nancy and I have as a fun vehicle.  Can you see the reason for the new Commandment yet?

Here is the newest.  Sunday I was out on The Tank minding my own business.  I had on all my clothing, my ear plugs and my safety glasses, and my trusty hat for protection so the sun wouldn’t burn my ever-growing forehead.  Clippings were being thrown out of the shoot just as they should at a furious rate.  The areas that I cut are for the most part former pasture land, so you might guess they are not as smooth as most lawns.  This is certainly true of the area where I was mowing.  Suddenly the ride got a little rougher than usual, and my first thought was “Don’t tell me I blew another tire?” Well, not exactly.

What I did was – you do remember the blown rear tire from above, right? – looked at the left-side rear wheel to see if it was flat.  It was not; however, it seemed to be wobbly.  I stopped the mower to take a closer look.  I had a mess.  I had lost one of the lug nuts, and the other three were in various positions other than where they should have been.  The openings in the wheel itself, formerly about a half inch in diameter, are now at least an inch in diameter or larger.  The wheel is shot.  The studs where the lug nuts go are stripped of their threads.  All of this is the result of the shoddy workmanship of the idiot who put the wheel back on the mower after the tire was repaired.  That idiot is me.  I tried to blame this on The Nancy, and I tried to blame it on the fact that one of her cousins spent the night with us this past Saturday and caused me to get a later start on my mowing Sunday morning than I wanted, but I truly know where the fault lay.  I am fully responsible for what happens to me in my life, dammit!

Monday morning I went to the Cub Cadet dealership where I bought the mower.  I bent my head down and looked at the floor as I told the owner my newest mower mishap tale.  I did not want to see him smile as he no doubt stifled a belly laugh.  As I looked up I could see him begin to flip pages in a book that contained a listing of all the parts for this particular mower.  He began to write down those parts needed to fix my problem.  He took a deep breath and these words exited his mouth.  “Ain’t gonna be cheap.” I hadn’t expected it to be, but I wasn’t quite ready for part two.  He said the parts to repair what I did will run about $777.00 plus labor.  Oh, happy days!!!  What a terrific way to begin the week!

The Nancy always tells me that we live in abundance.  Whatever we need always seems to be there at the time we need it to be.  Well, I am looking for the Abundance Fairy to make an appearance one more time.  That is, one more time this time.

And that is all I have to say about that…