My Special Friend

12/12/2006

Someone I would gladly lay down my life for is hurting in a big way.  I hate that.  There is nothing I can do but give my total support and unconditional love.  If I could take away the hurt and pain, I would do it in a New York minute.  I would take on the cause and takeover the problem and call it my own.  In a way, it is mine, because we are all connected just by merely being: you hurt, I hurt.  It’s the way it works.  Some deny it, some ignore it…I can’t.

I have never understood depression.  I don’t comprehend “bipolar,” or even what it really is.  Stress is something I don’t really get.  I have always figured those who are stressed must be a hell of a lot smarter than I.  I think I may not be smart enough to be stressed or depressed (at least for very long).  I have my moments, but it passes quickly.  My friend who is hurting is really down.  It shows up in the mask and in the voice and in the words.

Almost everyone I know knows how much I really enjoy an occasional beer or two or three.  I love it and I have some almost every night, but I do not now or have I ever had a desire to lose my identity in it, nor have I ever drank just for the purpose of getting to an alcohol high.  Perhaps that is the “control freak” in me.  I don’t want to lose the essence of me, ever!

My friend risks it all just for a short-lived high, a short ride on the dark side.  I don’t understand it, and while there is love it is very hard to be compassionate.  But, I do not condemn.  I cannot, if I don’t understand.  Perhaps the Greek philosopher Euripides knew something when he wrote, “Don’t attempt to heal others when you yourself are full of wounds.” Perhaps my friend needs to look within.  I suppose I may need do the same.  Aesop said, “Beware that you do lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.” Anytime any of us wishes to step out of reality into the abyss of a temporary high we are merely “grasping at the shadow.” Shadows have no substance and no future. 

I was listening to the soundtrack of the musical “Jekyll and Hyde” a little earlier this evening, and I began to think of my friend and what the friend might be reaching for and searching for when I heard this song:

A New Life –
What I wouldn’t give
To have a new life!
One thing I have learned
As I go through life:
Nothing is for free
Along the way!

A new start –
That’s the thing I need,
To give me a new heart –
Half a chance in life
To find a new part,
Just a simple role
That I can play.

A new hope –
Something to convince me
To renew hope!
A new day,
Bright enough
To help me find my way!

A new chance –
One that maybe has
A touch of romance
Where can it be,
The chance for me?

A new dream –
I have one I know
That very few dream!
I would like to see
That overdue dream –
Even though
It may never come true!
A new love –
Though there is no
Such thing as true love –
Even so
Although I never knew love,
Still I feel that
One dream is my due!

A new world -
This one thing I want
To ask of you, world -
Once! - Before it’s time
Say adieu, world!
One sweet chance to
Prove the cyniucs wrong!

A new life -
More and more, I’m sure,
As I go through life,
Just to play the game -
And to pursue life -
Just to share it’s pleasures,
And belong! -
That’s what I’ve been here for,
All along!
Each day’s
A brand new life!

The words may not fully fit the situation, but my friend will get it.  There is a cryptic message in the post.  You may not see, but it will be seen and understood.  My words may not express fully how I feel or what I want to convey.  This much remains a fact, my special friend, I love you more then the air I breathe.  I want nothing more for all the Christmases left in my life then for you to be happy and content with what the God of all things has given you.  It is the present I wish most to have.  You are more than you realize, and so much more than you are.  Look within.

All that is all I have to say about that…