Hell of a Guy

My Winter of Discontent


I am so sick of winter and we still have two more months of it to go.  Now don’t get me wrong this state of mind does not in any way affect my outlook of The Best Day Ever.  The fact of the matter is, I just don’t like cold weather, and I am not exactly thrilled with the number of hours of darkness that usurps the daylight from the end of October to the end of March. 

My days generally start early, most days before the sun begins to peak above the eastern horizon.  This particular morning I was wide awake before 5am, and every cell in my body was screaming for the others to lay still and not move.  Well, almost every cell, that is.  Those making up my bladder screamed the opposite, and they won out about two minutes after five.  After a brief personal relief moment, I was more than awake with no hope of returning to my former state of repose. 

I made my way in the total darkness feeling for the path to my favorite chair in the family room, the turned on a lamp and promptly pushed the “on” button located in the upper right hand corner of the keyboard of this laptop where my index fingers are so nimbly typing this for you to enjoy.  It was pitch black outside, and cold, very cold.

Frigid, is the only apt way to describe the cold here in West Virginia today.  Nothing like the negative temperatures gripping upper Minnesota this morning, but it is a balmy 18 degrees, and that is about 60 degrees less than I prefer.  My ideal day is comprised of twelve or more hours of daylight and temps in the 80s.  A day when The Nancy and I can sit on our front porch, each of us situated in one of the rockers with a cold beer in hand watching the shadows lengthen until well after 8pm.  That, my friend, is perfection!

By my count there are still fifty-seven days until spring officially graces the calendar.  I will count them down from here dutifully checking them off on my internal calendar.  Actually, I began the countdown on December 22nd.  If I figured it correctly there was just 9 hours, 54 minutes between sunup and sundown on December 21st, and that is simply not enough for me, but rest assured I was awake for and enjoyed every minute of it.

If I could afford it I would purchase a small condo in Florida in about a minute, and spend my winters there after retirement; however, since I have all my money is presently tied up in debts, that just is not in the cards at this time, and I would have a hell of a time convincing The Nancy to ever leave The Mountain State.  So, I am forced (Hoist in my own petard, as it were.) to spend the rest of my winter days right here shivering and longing for the heat of summer and the longer days that come with it when I can sit outside with a beer in one hand and my wife in a rocker next to me.

And that is all I have to say about that… 

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