Sunday, December 12, 2010
Looking Forward to #7...
12/12/2010
Looking back, I have always looked forward to some events - some grand and some not so grand.
I have always looked forward to certain holidays like Christmas, Easter and the Fourth of July. Christmas when I was a kid was truly something special. Having been raised by a couple of devout Methodists, the Christmas celebration was centered on the true meaning of the season with some Santa thrown in as an extra special perk. Easter, too, came with great anticipation. It was a day filled with lots and lots of goodies, and then we went church, but it didn’t spoil anything, we sneaked candy into our pockets to munch on while some dude in the pulpit talked over our heads. Memorial Day is close to my heart, especially since beginning my relationship with The Nancy. Grafton, WV, the childhood home of The Nancy, has a Memorial Day parade we look forward to attending. It makes the day special. And the Fourth of July generally meant a day with family or even maybe a day at the beach or on a picnic. I look forward to lots of things, except, that is, if what is to come is not so good.
My #7 may just fall into that “not-so-good” category. My #7 is a colonoscopy. My #7 is coming on Tuesday.
Inasmuch as I have done this six times already, this really isn’t a big deal. I don’t mind the procedure at all. The worst part of the procedure is the hospital gown, which for some reason I always put on backwards. It just seems logical to me the opening is to be in the front. I am a guy, for crying out loud, I have to have unlimited access. You might think I am nuts, but since the doctor shoots me up with some concoction allowing him to insert a six-foot scope into my lower intestine, up through my body and God only knows how or where, I don’t feel it at all, so I am more than happy. I go to sleep before and wake up after it is all done. Perfect!
It is the prep that I hate about this whole deal. It consists of a “high colonic” of the worst kind. I have just returned from Rite Aid where I purchased about four pounds of MiraLax and about what looks like a half gallon of Magnesium Citrate that is to clean me out to the point a fart will sound like high pitched violin note. There will be nothing left in there to retard anything going in or coming out. I am talking clean here.
The good thing about the prep is that I will not be eating tomorrow: I will consider it a weight loss day. It is a clear liquid day, and this doctor does not consider beer to be on the list of approved liquids. I was also admonished not to consume anything red in color; and definitely no corn for at least a week before the colonoscopy. I am not sure what my doc has against corn? Personally, I love the stuff.
On the serious side of this, I am a huge proponent of this examination. Four of my friends have succumbed to the ravages of this terrible cancer. It is just too simple of a cancer to detect and to treat, and this simple test is simply just not anything someone age 50 or with a family history of colon issues should ever consider not getting. Consider this my pontification of the day – get the damn thing done.
Even though I do not consider this test to be egregious, those you who have enjoyed this, and also those of you who have not, may understand why I am looking forward to Wednesday.
And that is all I have to say about that…